Things I Would Love To Have Right Now

1. An opportunity to tell my mom I intend to buy the Fuiji Finepix Z33 before prom.
I know the picture sucks here. The colour of the camera REAL LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER!! I know because I walk pass it everytime my mom shops at bpp's fairprice. The electronics shop is right smack outside.2. A pink prom dress that is long and fluffy, just like how I want it to be.
Not like the black and gloomy dress I have now. Pink is nice. Its princessy. Its. Every girl's dream. But mine has been shattered. *Hears heart drops to the ground and breaks into a million pieces*

3. A trip to sentosa so I'd get a nice tan.

4. Cheanpin and her camera, so she'll start going around randomly and scream "STOP! STAY THERE! WHERE'S MY CAMERA?!".

5. Jessie, to crap with you.

6. Courage to stand up for my rights! In case you people don't have a childhood at all, the pink dog's name IS courage, although he's the most cowardly dog alive.

7. Sashimi.

You can ALWAYS count on anything Japanese to make you feel better. After physics paper one yesterday, BC, Daniel, Jessie and I went to Sakae. Daniel wanted to back out at first. Jessie and I all but wanted to rip his throat out. "I.. don't really feel like going already leh....."

Jessie and I: TSK!!!!!!!!!

Nonsensical post

My sister was SUPPOSEDLY studying at her uni friend's hall overnight. But when Mummy called to complain about Chantelle's plight(her whole sitting at the doorstep, waiting for Jazreel Lim Seh Kai to come home saga), voila! She was on her way to some club! I never thought my sister was a clubber. I thought she went there to practice salsa or something- turns out I was wrong. IAM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, JAZREEL. =(

Anyway, Chantelle is sleeping in my room now. Or rather, staring at me with intense hatred as I sit infront of the computer, typing this. Maybe because I didn't allow her on my bed, like the previous time. TOO BAD, DOG. If not for me, you'd still be suffering outside the hall right now. Or sleeping in Mummy's room and get kicked out in the middle of the night cuz you scratch the floor too much. NOT ME, Iam a really heavy sleeper.

(In case you haven't noticed, Iam blogging just for the sake of blogging. To show all of you how boring my blog is, so none of you can keep visiting peppersugarsalt.bs.com for the latest and most juicy gossips of MY LIFE, thank you very much.)

Mummy just woke up and went into Jazreel's room to pluck her blackheads. Gross. Which reminds me of the day she cornered me and insisted that she squeezes MINE. Blackheads, I mean. With respect to her INSISTENCE, I answered somewhat proudly, "I don't have blackheads." She laughed. Condescending one. "Yeah, right" was her reply.

Turns out I didn't even know I had blackheads. I thought they were permanent pimples. LAUGH ALL YOU WANT. Contrary to popular belief, Iam not well versed in all those.. girlish ways.

She squeezed. OH she squeezed. POP. It looked like a worm. Somehow it was transparent- and oily. Yikes. I promise I will go for blackhead removal every now and then. I CAN'T IMAGINE SOMETHING AS GROSS AS THAT HAS BEEN RESIDING IN(!!!!!!!) MY FACE THE WHOLE OF THIS YEAR. Its beyond gross- its revolting!

Iam still bored.
No one's online to talk to me.

Somehow I think Jessie is. Though she's appearing offline. Mapling again. Like Daniel. ShiCheng. Siwei. Chanel. And.. SunshineOng. -________-

I'll only get to play maple after I ask Daddy to install Hanwei's computer that has been in the storeroom since FOREVER in my room. And we still have to apply for another line to the wireless broadband thing. But BEFORE installing the com, I have to clear my room of those redundant(YAY!!!!!!!!) secondary school books, paint my room, get new furniture and book shelves. Which would take a long time. Amidst the job hunting thing.

In short, I think PinkyJ would only see me in December.

This is getting boring. Bye.

You thought Daniel would have the decency to tell me about IT so I could remove IT and spare myself from all the embarrassment Iam facing right now, at this instant. OK fine, the embarrassment is one sided because they wouldn't BE embarrassed in the first place. Its my thoughts, my feelings, my future plans. Which brings me back to the point that peppersugarsalt.blogspot.com is no longer a safe haven for me to claim my rights to "FREEDOM OF SPEECH". Its shocking and even irritating(to a certain extent) that so much things have been going behind my back, with me being utterly clueless about it. HELLO, I know Iam slow but would someone bother to explain how the whole friends protocol works? Iam not a James Bond in this area, okay!

Fine, I will give Daniel some credit. He DID mention it to me in passing. Like, a few sentences kind of HINTS, not straight in the face.

BAH! I know its not right to get irritated over trivial stuff like this but I feel there's a need for me to be respected as an individual who is CAPABLE of intellectual thinking. I mean, come on, if anyone just BOTHERED to talk to me about it, I wouldn't be stupid enough to turn a blind eye to your reasonings. BUT NO ONE DID!!!

There's gotta be some major changes in the way things work. Seriously.

You would think its the GIRLS who would be thinking of what to do/what to eat/what to bring for the class chalet. Trust me, 4E4 has a bunch of guys who will make very good husbands in future. In the food sense. -.-

Blogging to me is like.. you know, blogging.

The cause to the recent lack of updates- I've once again lost my motivation to blog. Everything seems to become mundane, boring, lifeless and a... routine.

I am pretty much selective of the blogs I read. I don't read blogs that just go through the motions.. I don't read blogs with profanities in all sorts of dialects hurled at their readers(excuse me, but that's rather rude of you).. I don't read blogs with millions of pictures without any words. YET, I don't read blogs with words only but no pictures.

You know.. my blog is equally boring. Scrolling down the pages, all I can find are hints of being stressed over O levels. I haven't posted a picture in years and everything I blog about is.. routined, in a stale sort of way.

Then I thought of how much I hate putting a false front on peppersugarsalt.blogspot.com. Last time when it was first set up, oh boy, I could blog about anything and everything under the sun because only The Sister would read it. Now, YOU, the person sitting infront of this computer, going through my nonsensical ramblings might not even be someone I know personally. The thought freaks me out. I hate being judged- so everytime I blog about something, I have to think, "yikes! Is this too bimbotic?" or "oh mannnn is this very unholy?" or "what if someone gets insulted by this comment?"

This facade is all very, very tiring.

When I feel down and I just need a blog to channel all my anger at, people start commenting stuff like, "Jacelyn is not doing very well spiritually" OR "who does she think she is man?"

ITS LIKE. YOU KNOW. FRUSTRATING.

So slowly, the stuff I blog about revolves around VERY superficial things. That isn't what a blog is suppose to be, isn't it? Sometimes I feel like just shutting this whole blog down. But it feels like such a waste. 4 years of memories!! I've been blogging since I was primary SIX!!

BAH.

(Sacarsm)
And you know, people, I really dislike being called a bimbo. Its not only insulting, its kinda crude in a way. Thank you for labelling all girls who like being girly a bimbo, just because of their exquisite taste of liking all things pink and shiny. EXCUSE ME. Girls like pink, is that wrong? Its like calling a guy who loves soccer a himbo(invented term for the guy version of a bimbo).

IF you actually bothered to find out what bimbo means, you would find out that it is an unkind reference to girls with a figure TO DIE FOR and is brainless to the core. IF I were brainless, I wouldn't even be able to type out this page long essay on how I am not brainless.

-_____-

This part is specially for guys who like to dish out the word "bimbo" so often.

YEP. And there goes my rant.

p/s I DO NOT THINK XIAXUE IS BIMBOTIC.

Iam acting like O lvls is over, I KNOW! But srsly, I don't see the point in mugging now. If you wanted to pull up your grades, you should have worked hard enough before that. Now is the time to REVISE and relax, go into the hall with a clear mind and not a frantic one.

Besides,
NO MORE MATH!

YIPEEEEE.

And pardon me, I know I've been really weird these few days. I seem to be VERY easily irritated.

Jazreel is not home yet. Lim Seh Kai, would you please stop bringing fattening comfort food home at 12am and tempt me to eat them because I HAVE A PROM TO ATTEND TO IN A FEW WEEKS' TIME, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

IT was Haagen Dazs or however you spell it and THEN BJ-_-

I really like the chocolate brownie thingy..........

OK SHUT UP. STOP IT. PROM PROM PROM

A little bit of history..

I was reading my history textbook just now and I felt the sudden urge to research on the Nanjing Massacre, after reading so many books describing it as the "biggest atrocity" committed by the Japanese during World War II.

Side Note: Wikipedia rocks, it has everything I wanna know from TVB shows to history stuff and again to information needed for GB projects. (:P)

Here you go, link to Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_massacre

I was so.. angry. Okay, this incident happened so long ago, but what really pissed me off is the part where some people DENIED that it actually happened before. Its almost like some historians saying the Holocaust was just a rumour. Totally ridiculous.

AND did you see what those heartless soldiers did to torture the civillians?! Incest, raping of PREGNANT women, using boys as BAYONET practice and burying people ALIVE.

Come to think of it, Iam SO thankful that America used that atomic bomb to end the war. Can you imagine if they didn't?.. so angry.

I know its kinda ridiculous for getting pissed off over something that happened so long ago, but I FEEL it because Singapore was once invaded by the same people before!

Bah, too much of history. But still. ANGRY!

COUNTING DOWN TO ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS PAPER ONE.

I CAN DO IT, BECAUSE GOD GAVE ME A MATH AS A SUBJECT 2 YEARS AGO.

B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3
B3

Today marks the end of my E math life in secondary school. Iam starting to agree with Lopez, Iam missing e math already..























NOT.

I can't WAIT to kiss my math days goodbye.

But alas, there's still ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS PAPER ONE AND TWO. The lines I've recited and forced myself to read at lightning speed whenever I sense a little discouragement in other people's words(whether consciously or not) is NOT WORKING. Somehow people treat my words like a JOKE.

"If this is an attempt of yours to try and discourage me before my paper, you can stop it now."

And they proceed to start saying even nastier things because they think I WAS JOKING.

Yeah, RIGHT. Iam not. Iam serious. I have a pretty fragile self esteem here so I need to protect it in ANY and EVERY single way I can. Will you people please be kind and LEAVE ME ALONE? Iam serious, ANYTHING you say unconsciously might demoralise me, so please don't say anything AT ALL about the papers, okay?

(Iam not referring to Wasin cuz I know he's VERY harmless..)

But thankfully, REN JIAN HAI YOU QING.
This world is not devoid of love and concern, either.

Throughout the 3 whole days of battle and before that, I've received numerous encouragements, words of advice etc. I've people fretting over me(Ronald LAM WEN CHUAN who asks me to call him after the papers so he can go through with me and stuff), people who SMSes me daily to encourage me(Lovell and his "ON TODAY'S MENU.."), random people whom I can't believe knows Iam taking my O's(Alvin, Yingying), kind school mates who know how much I fear math(Kwangteng, HONGZHANG, Josephine, Sara)..

and many many others. I can't really remember all the names.

Must thank THE father and THE mother too.
People who bothers fetching me right after every paper- so I won't have a chance to compare answers and get demoralised for the next one.

_______________
But I think I've failed God terribly. I promised, I PROMISED to trust in His word and promise. But when I was taking the paper, I saw this question on geometric proving that I didn't know how to do, I scribbled something crude on the paper and skipped it. :(

But why is God so faithful?
I finished the paper and God was like, "turn back turn back!"

I turned.

Stared at the question. STILL as hard.

Mind turns blank..












And then I got it.

Okay, I don't think I did as well as the others, but I know I won't fail it. You know, when there's something BANGING on your heart. Like its that GUT FEELING you KNOW you won't do badly...

Bah, I feel super guilty now. But on the other hand, I still feel VERY, VERY grateful that God turned up despite me being a total brat who doesn't trust him and stuff..

Just to motivate myself even further..
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although I've just packed my cupboard and dug out ALOT of old tees that was once banished into the cold palace, I think Iam gonna break the promise I made to Cheanpin.

Iam still going shopping.

And Iam not going to buy clothes.

















Iam going to go PJ shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The mickey mouse pjs at cotton on is still flashing in my mind until now. -_-

And and and Iam gonna search for ugly, random and BIG necklaces. They might fit with some of the ugly clothes I dug out.

Insoluble salt + insoluble salt = soluble salt.

ugly + ugly = NOT ugly

Oh btw, this post was made to show how weird Iam.

The Brownian Motion states that all smoke particles are in random and irregular movement.

The PMS theorem states that all girls have moodwings that are random and irregular.. :D


CHEEEEEEEEEERS.